![]() It’s important to note that gaining trust (instantly) and love bombing are part of an entire arsenal of manipulation tactics that narcissists typically use in the early stages of the relationship. Īt some point, this idyllic phase begins to fade, and the abuser shows his true colors. When self-doubt takes root in your mind, and every attempt to discuss what’s bothering you ends up with them threatening to leave, fear takes over. On top of that, their apparent openness and transparency make you trust them almost instantly.Īll these warm and fuzzy feelings you experience because of their overwhelming affection and apparent trustworthiness are the foundation of the attachment bond. It all starts with them showering you with attention, gifts, compliments, and grand displays of affection. Most abusive relationships have idyllic beginnings, a wonderful love story that makes you think, “ Wow… he/she is exactly what I need.” To understand why breaking trauma bonds is so complex, we must look at how abusers typically operate. When you combine these two elements, you get a complex dynamic from which even the most resilient individuals find it difficult to escape. That means an abuser will gain their victim’s trust, inflict physical or psychological harm, then apologize and promise not to repeat it. On the other hand, abuse happens in cycles. Since abusive interactions threaten their physical and psychological integrity, victims will eventually develop attachments towards their aggressors as a survival mechanism. On the one hand, we have the need for attachment, a need that every human has and relies on for survival. Īs Patrick Barnes describes it, trauma bonding is a “ dysfunctional attachment that occurs in the presence of danger, shame, or exploitation.” ![]() In many cases, these bonds are so strong that victims end up defending the perpetrators.Īs many experts agree, the victim-perpetrator dynamic is often shrouded in silence and shame, making it difficult for victims to escape and for outsiders (friends, family members, or coworkers) to see what’s happening in the relationship. You Feel as If You’re Running in Circlesīefore Patrick Barnes coined the term “ trauma bonding,” psychologists would use Stockholm syndrome to describe a dynamic in which victims develop bonds with their abusers. You Compromise Yourself for the Sake of the Relationship You Make Up Excuses for Their Maltreatment You’re Afraid to Speak Out Every Time They Mistreat You You Try to Set Boundaries, but They Keep Crossing Them ![]() 9 Signs You Might Be Dealing with Trauma Bonding:. ![]()
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